I see it coming, yet never stop it before it gets here.
"RUN!!!!" my heart yells. The hell if my thoughts listen.
"IF YOU WONT RUN, THEN DUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" My heart screams at me. "Who listens to you?" My head says back.
"Why can't you listen to me?! you'll regret this later. You'll feel hopeless. You'll feel helpless. " My heart whispers, defeated and dreading the night, when my head thinks, and my heart cries.
"Can't you see? This is just hopeful thinking. You don't love them. Listen. You are mixing longing for someone with a platonic love, and reasoning that you can at least stand them. You don't love them. LISTEN TO ME!" My heart cries, trying to get my brain to listen.
"Don't you have better things to do? Like, I dunno, just pump some blood?" My brain snarks.
so my heart quiets. And fools herself with the hope that this time my head is right. Soon, even my heart believes she's in love.
And is still hurts when she is broken. And still cries when she knows she was right before.
Why didn't I run?
Why didn't I duck?
why didn't I just, listen when my heart told me what was really up? Why wasn't it easy to listen the first time?
Why couldn't I listen, when my heart told the truth?
Yet, I know. Next time, I'll ignore my heart again. I'll think it's love. And I won't run, I won't duck, I'll just confuse my heart again.
Because I'll never ever ever ever learn to listen.