Myself  change stories

nelostenfoe Just an entity wandering the internet
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
I am scared, so scared
Am I betraying myself?
Am I becoming a better?


It only needs repetition

The words I say, the truth I want for myself

And at the moment those words flow out

I truly believe I am all that

But when silence strikes

When I am by the company of myself

All that bravado vanishes

Leaving a shell of myself

A version of me

That I really believe is real

Yet no one, not even myself, desires

If I say it many times enough,

I will truly become it

Sometimes I feel I shouldn't try to change

But conformation is the norm battered into me

Recognition falls upon me when I abandon my shell

I just have to avoid the mirror, and the enchantment will last

For when I see myself, I can't help but to throw accusing looks

Why have I betrayed myself so

For whose sake, I say, for myself

I must believe it, And when my life falls into place,

I won't regret betraying myself

For I am becoming a better me

One that isn't subdued and brooding, Indifferent and selfish,

One that isn't subdued and brooding, Indifferent and selfish, Without love...

No, is my real self really that bad?

Or is that how others paint me

When they don't see what they want

I can't understand my own heart

I am scared, so scared.

Am I betraying myself?

Am I striving to become better?

I wish I can be caught in the eye of the storm

Rather than wrung at the walls of the turbulence

Dear myself... no, don't tell me to go through the motions!

Don't tell me to wait for the answer!

For every second I ponder, each piece of myself is torn...

And I... I may truly become a shell, Void of... me.

Whew... thanks for reading :)

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