It only needs repetition
The words I say, the truth I want for myself
And at the moment those words flow out
I truly believe I am all that
But when silence strikes
When I am by the company of myself
All that bravado vanishes
Leaving a shell of myself
A version of me
That I really believe is real
Yet no one, not even myself, desires
If I say it many times enough,
I will truly become it
Sometimes I feel I shouldn't try to change
But conformation is the norm battered into me
Recognition falls upon me when I abandon my shell
I just have to avoid the mirror, and the enchantment will last
For when I see myself, I can't help but to throw accusing looks
Why have I betrayed myself so
For whose sake, I say, for myself
I must believe it, And when my life falls into place,
I won't regret betraying myself
For I am becoming a better me
One that isn't subdued and brooding, Indifferent and selfish,
One that isn't subdued and brooding, Indifferent and selfish, Without love...
No, is my real self really that bad?
Or is that how others paint me
When they don't see what they want
I can't understand my own heart
I am scared, so scared.
Am I betraying myself?
Am I striving to become better?
I wish I can be caught in the eye of the storm
Rather than wrung at the walls of the turbulence
Dear myself... no, don't tell me to go through the motions!
Don't tell me to wait for the answer!
For every second I ponder, each piece of myself is torn...
And I... I may truly become a shell, Void of... me.
Whew... thanks for reading :)