A True State of Being
A True State of Being deep thoughts stories
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nelito
nelito Depressed poet
Autoplay OFF   •   5 months ago
This is my first poem here. I am trying to find better ways to express myself and to learn a bit about poetry in the process. I don't claim any movement of ideals and, while I do have some inspirations, I don't think I have the right to claim I have any sort of relationship with those who inspire me. Please, do criticize anything you deem it needs to, but make it so in a civilized way. Thank you.

A True State of Being

For many years I have changed

Becoming someone over something

Questioning myself and the definition of that same question

What does it mean to be?

Is existence enough to define what I can become?

No; maybe what I feel is the essence of what I am

But if those feelings change and I, myself, too, in the process

Does it mean that I am a different being?

I like to think that I must stay true to that definition of what I believe is the essence of me

What makes me suffer, what makes me happy

Those things are a superposition of my being

They shouldn't exclude themselves, but

sometimes I feel distant

Like a star that collapses itself onto something smaller and insignificant,

sometimes I don't feel myself

And when the process of change finally ends,

I become something that I don't entirely recognise

Still, all the memories and feelings are still there

The new being that I am now still knows the suffering and happiness that it experienced as another thing

But why is it so hard to understand that I've changed?

Is change good? Is it bad? Or is it just a passage of time?

A question like that may be too complex for me to understand

It may be that change, like an evolutionary path, has many dead ends

But beyond that, I believe that I should keep changing

Searching for the ideal being I could be

Not in a vain pursuit of perfection,

but in a way that makes me understand who I really am

Acceptance might be the final stage of the many facets of change

Maybe that's why we change

Not because we need the change,

but because change is the mirror of the self

It allows us to see what we were, and, in return, allowing the older self to rest,

knowing that everything that it experienced has helped the new being to finally recognize its journey through time

This process might never truly end,

but I think change isn't just an intimate experience

It keeps itself living through others and,

while I don't believe in happy endings,

maybe change will bring us to a final stage in human history

A final stage of true understanding of not only the self,

but of the many others that led us to where we are

With all the suffering and happiness that we've experienced

A stage of acceptance of the old and the new

A true state of being

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