WARNING: If you are feeling loyal, brave, annoying, heroic, or any of these excruciatingly aggravating traits, be prepared to feel disgusted, repulsed and utterly outraged by this book. We have warned you. Proceed at your own risk.
#1 Rule: Never sacrifice yourself for friends or family members (or a random person if you're feeling especially brave) This rule will usually protect you from immediate death by zombies gnawing on your brain.
#2 Rule: Do not do stupid things like trying to make peace with zombies. Zombies do not have brains. They are incapable of thinking. Please do not attempt to negotiate. This will almost always result in immediate death.
#3 Rule: Finally, do not travel alone. Bring a friend or two to accidentally trip over as a sacrifice so you can run away whiles your friend is getting eaten. Loyalty does not exist within the zombie society.
And that's it! All the basic rules you need to survive basically anything! Or the zombie apocalypse for those who still think that dead people can walk after rotting for god knows how many years. I leave all my knowledge in your hand. Good luck and try not to die!