like resisting an undertow
like resisting an undertow ocean stories
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natasha
natashajust looking for some meaning
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
I. there is lightning crackling under your nails and your fingers itch. they comb through the strands of your burnt-honey hair in an absent clumsiness. your eyes are far away. they are so bright i think i can see the faint reflections of shipwrecks in them. you do not blink. you do not see me.

like resisting an undertow

I. there is lightning crackling under your nails and your fingers itch. they comb through the strands of your burnt-honey hair in an absent clumsiness. your eyes are far away.

they are so bright i think i can see the faint reflections of shipwrecks in them. you do not blink. you do not see me.

II. you smell like crushed magnolia blossoms and sea salt, and the air is so thick with your scent that it is hard to inhale. the blush in your cheeks never fades but is cool to the touch.

your lips are parted like they want to say something but your tongue lies curled in the warmth of your mouth, heavy under the weight of secrets long since buried beneath the waves.

III. moonbeams filter through the cracks in the docks. i am stuck in the dark, looking up at them, hoping to catch a glimpse of you from below.

i am searching for the lighthouse beam that will save me from the creeping tide but all i find between us are rocks waiting for my blood and bones.

i am lost not at sea but on the shoreline, and your beacon is not meant for me. it is meant for those farther out, and i am still too close.

IV. my toes sink further into the wet sand. shivers rack my spine as the stars above blink in and out of indifference.

ancient stones anchor my hands as i am pulled under the tide, brine filling my lungs and stinging my open eyes. maybe if i am carried out to sea you will notice me.

maybe i will find my way to your side, watching the unforgiving horizons for eternity. or maybe i will become just one more lost soul, doomed to wander under your empty gaze.

V. the lull of crashing waves is muted far above me. your siren voice sounds distant as the light dances in the water. i cannot breathe. but I still search for you, beneath the surface.

i am sleeping with the fishes and their silver scales shimmer like winking eyes.

your beam sweeps over the swells far above me once more, and i wonder if you had always intended it to look like the light glancing off a fishhook.

but it makes no difference as i lie on the ocean floor, and sand and time conceal my foolish desires.

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