i can't begin to understand why...
why you couldn't choose me. I am so thankful that you are giving me all these abundantances in my life... but why not this?
we could have joined... we both were suppose to join
after the pain of putting up with furious pretentious individuals it felt as if life was stuck in a obsidian hole. this was our reward? my reward? this was for us.
but you fucked that up... and now i have to sit in silence;
holding back my sorrow and pretending that I'm okay when I'm barely hanging on.
I'll have the pleasure of hearing all of the small talk and
inside jokes; that were with in my reach but i wasn't worthy of. while she feels guilty like it's her fault for succeeding; and i will take the high road like always do.
She did not do anything wrong; but i see the dreary
and uncertainty swell in her eyes. your making me feel like I'm the outcast; when this tragedy affects her too. why do i think this way?
i'm sorry for the dramatics but you made me feel this way...
please don't tell me that i cannot feel bitter. let me feel this pain...
it will get better i know... and she understands as do i
this is another bump in the road;
a growing spurt through life.