Taking myself back to the past seems to always make me flinch and wince in disgust, A cold shiver then slowly spreads down the length of my spine, creating goosebumps to prove how bad it is? or was?
Memories were more of a addiction because of how toxic I knew it to be, how I feel and how it will not go away with just a simple nap the torturing feeling was addictive and yet suffocating at the same time.
I've not yet accepted the thought, the thought of it being real.
Some days I continue to tell myself it wasn't real. it was just a figment of my imagination but the truth lingers at the back of my mind. Those in particular memories are too descriptively real.
The often toxic memories keep me on edge in my daily activities, my thoughts, my mind.
I've silently become addicted to destroying my mental health. Because of this experience, I know more about how to keep a front. I completely wash away visible emotion to please them with my false jovial expression.
My cover tells people I'm fine not in words but actions and charm even if it's always more or less of the opposite of what I feel.
❝Music is more than a person singing words and stringing them along together in a tune.❞
❝Music is a type of medicine that doesn't derive from the table of elements.❞ because music is a drug within itself to keep me serene
❝Music genre is your choice and what you choose to heal with or whom with.❞ music is a medicine for my mental health