A Platitude (But An Amusing One Nonetheless) by Max Albert
1. They're All Going To Be Billionaires...
Or at-least that's what they'll tell you... Over and over again....
2. They Won't Cheat On You
Because, let's be honest, recruiters are the only ones hitting up their phones
3. They're Good At Fixing "Bugs" In The Relationship
Usually it was just something stupid like they forgot to switch Boolean isAngry to false
4. They Can Build Fun, Little "I Love You" Websites
It's really not that creepy...
5. Password Protection
They know how to turn your "moderately secure" Facebook password into a "extremely secure" one. If the thought of that next to this romantic fire gif doesn't turn you on, idk what will.
Computer Science majors are the new hip thing. Scoop one up before they're sold out and get stuck with version 2. We all know how bad squeals can be. I mean have you seen Mean Girls 2? Gross.