There has been a lot of trying to better understand who I am and moving forward as my own person, and to the best version of myself.
Mindfulness is a topic that has been circling my path and I think is a good thing to strive for...
But mindfulness, I’ve noticed, isn’t just about being in the moment and understanding ones thoughts and feelings at that time.
It’s also being aware of who you are and what thoughts you have and how they translate into morals, decisions, and personality.
Digging deep into who you are is essential for personal growth, but often we are unsure of where our beliefs came from and there can be heavy consequences.
I had a conversation with my partner about something he was very passionate about when he was younger. I suggested he get back into it but he said he was too old.
That didn’t sound like him, and when I challenged the thought he had a realization.
That wasn’t his thought, it was a thought that he was conditioned to believe and except as truth slowly and over time by someone unsupportive.
This really got me thinking about not just myself or my partner, but all of humanity. We can be conditioned to believe anything if it’s repeated enough, normalized enough.
Think of the average group of men, conditioned to believe they shouldn’t cry because it’s weak, can’t show emotion or take the time to try and understand feelings, must be the one to provide,
has to be competitive, strength is a requirement, can’t have any qualities considered feminine. Now think about one man, his own personality and creativeness.
Without these conditioned thoughts and beliefs he could be the next Picasso or the next Andrea Bocceli or maybe the next cake boss who knows.
However, because these intrusive thoughts that over time he has accepted as his own, he works a meanial job maybe he has a wife and house or car he can’t afford.
His life is unfulfilled, he’s depressed but doesn’t know why. This affects every person on the planet! I used men in this example but women and children have similar conditioning.
So after my own realization I turned my curiosity inward, what thoughts are my own or someone else’s.
What have I been blind to? What beliefs do I hold because someone told me it was right or proper to believe it.
These conditioned thoughts are just limiters on our individual potential, reinforced by the entertainment we compulsively consume and the people we put in power.
Mindfulness is a tool… a tool used to unclutter our minds and intentions.
A tool used to tear away our own preconceptions of the way a person should be, and allow us to find out truest thoughts of who we are.
To be mindful doesn’t mean your perfect, it means you are becoming aware.
In closing I’d like to give a bit of imagery. Think of your mind as a brick building, each thought you have about who you are and how you should act represents a brick.
You decide that this plain brick building isn’t what you like, it’s boring or there are many problems within it.
You cant just knock it all down, its not that easy because you dont have the building knowlege or any tools, but you are aware it needs to be done.
So you start at the top and examine each brick to decide if it’s in good condition and to make sure you were the one to make it.
Some you might throw out because you find someone else manufactured and enscribed their name on it.
Some you might realize are broken, so you fix them, make them look nice, maybe paint on them because you forgot you liked to paint.
Eventually you have a pile of nice, beautiful bricks that are all your own. But there is still more work to do, because you’ve reached the foundation.
Then you start thinking… I have all these colorful beautiful bricks, why should I rebuild that building I hated so much? This foundation is strong, and it could hold anything I put here.
So you start building again, brick by brick, until everything comes together. And as you place the last brick, you realize it’s not a building anymore, it’s a living mural.
A dedicated work of the mind. Rich in personality and creativity, this mural makes you feel at home. It took a while, but it’s fully your own creation with materials you made.
The only tool you needed was awareness that there was a problem, and a desire to fix it. You only had to be mindful, and it’s ok if you are just beginning.
We can take as long as we need.