as a person who, over all dont have any luck with romantic relationships and has over all became the type to put a high ass wall around my heart, id like to share my thoughts on this holiday (?)
if im being honest, it kinda hurts when i go to school,
seeing everyone else getting valintines or having their bf/gf/ whatever non binary ppl are called in relationships (btw if yall know the answer im kinda curious-)
it hurts, not because im alone, or dont have anyone, because me and my friends usually hang out, no, it hurts because it makes me remember everytime i got made fun of,
or rejected for liking someone.
its also lowkey offencive to me, but only late at night, when im tired and not able to talk to people, which is prob why im on here so late at night....
i have fallen for a lot of different boys already, but everytime my heart gets broken, i get more tired of picking the peices up by my self. and feeling like shit.
im not ace, because i honestly want to be held, i want to be in a relationship, but part of me is to dumb to relize that maybe i scare people off with how i am,
(well shiz this is turning into a rant but if ur still here congrats )
part of me thinks ill just end up alone forever, so i figure, i get what ill get and i cant be too picky,
part of me is afraid to be my true self to people who i like alot because they may not be able to handel me or my quirks, well,
what i wanna say so very badly to them is "if your scared of the side quests youre not ready for the main one" but thats alot harder when your running out of heart,
when you slowly start giving up and just accepting that you may be alone forever, so you seek comfort, in cuddles from close friends, roleplay,
and even fictional charicters who used to be nothing more then comfort charicters.
everyone has their way of coping with how love makes them feel, but im not perfect and i wont try to act like it.
im broken because of love, and that makes me more afraid to get attatched to anyone else who would hurt me, but that may just be me........anyone else feel that way?