Bunty stumbled backwards knocking into a knee-high wooden table. Glancing down she noticed the Jacob's Creek 1967 bottle teetering on its brim about to fall.
As quickly as a sex-starved male ejaculating she swung her left hand towards it and gripped the bottle before it fell to its shattering end.
"Holy grandfather clock, I haven't been this bonged out since Penelope's 21st" she thought as she burped incessantly towards Gregory, her 3 year old son who wise beyond his age pointed out to his alcoholic mother that the carpet would've saved the bottle had it fallen and with the glass chamber of liquid goodness being empty it would not have stained either.
Another swift burp occurred as she delivered a clean right hook to Gregory's left cheek.
"Fuck you Gregory. Always have to be the smart one in the room". The sheer power of Bunty's strike propelled Gregory from the faux leather covered armchair and onto the floor. He sprawled for a few seconds trying to find his bearings.
Bunty wandered over to the drink's cabinet and picked up an unopened can of Irn-Bru in one hand and a tumbler glass with the other.
She turned around to see if little Gregory had got to his feet. Indeed he had risen and she looked on in awe as he began to shake. His whole body shook. Faster and faster he shook.
His face then went red and he shit himself.
Gregory stared his mother in the eyes in the aftermath. The shaking had stopped but things were about to get much, much worse for Bunty.
Within seconds of the wet brown substance's entrance to the room he began to smile and suddenly wings grew out of his shoulders.
Bunty rubbed her eyes. 'What kind of wizard fuckery is this?' she wondered.
The 3-year-old began to flap his wings. They were fast like a wasp. They hummed vividly like Bunty used to do when she was bored in her piano classes at the old all girls private school.
He rose into the air and flew through the stained-glass windows.
From a distance Bunty could see the coloured shards littered all over the carpet. She walked over to the window in a blind rage opening her mouth to scream.
"Gregory you self shitting vulture! Get back here immediately and clean this up!"
However, when Bunty got to the window it was fine. It hadn't smashed at all. She began to think hard. Memories flashed through her mind.
Memories from years ago, when she used to work the checkout in Wilkinson's and when she once drove her car into a lake because it was dark and she couldn't operate the headlights.
Reality returned and Bunty was back in the room. It was then she realised.
She didn't even have a son called Gregory.
And she didn't like Irn-Bru either.
Chapter 1 coming soon...