i had to sacrifice being happy
because to not feel one emotion
i had to be okay with not feeling any emotion
i know that that’s not okay but
if you were in my position you’d understand
you’d understand when you realize how intolerable the pain is
do I miss being happy, smiling?
I always wonder how it’d feel if I could smile to the joke I just heard
I always wonder if it’d make me connect with people better
But I know that smile will cost me a tear
and I know that my pain will last an entire night
but the smile lasts for just a second
so I made the deal, alright?
don’t judge me, I made it
I said; take my soul but just end my pain
and that’s exactly what happened
to all of you who think I don’t care, I do.
I care more than you can ever imagine
Don’t get me wrong, I can still feel, it’s just that the feelings don’t affect me anymore
I can still tell that you’re sad, I just won’t wipe your tears anymore
Not because I don’t care, it’s just that I sold my soul..
feelings don’t affect me anymore
but I’m still here and I still love you
Even behind that serious face, I want you to know that..
somewhere inside there is a smile, I just lost the ability to show it
Don’t be afraid
I’m just no longer the same.