The first matter of discussion is our food.
You feed us the dry rocks of death, which apparently you humans call "kibbles". Only one refill a day? You've got to be kidding me.
And you distasteful humans seem not to care about your beautiful pooches, and therefore only feed us when you feel like it, which is apparently only at 9 o'clock.
And you never give us enough treats. And when you do, they taste like bacon. That's one good thing, but we would like to have variety!
Now we will talk about playtime.
You only let us out to play once a day, and when you usually let us out, it is for us to relieve ourselves. When we get a ball from outside and bring it back in, you seem to be always watching NCIS.
Therefore, it can be concluded that you care about crime shows more than your beautiful dogs.
Sincerely, Callie and Peanut