To be honest, there's no reason why I'm here.... I guess I feel like I have a story that could inspire? I don't know how to write any of it without sounding pompous but here goes.
It all started when a Queen was born...
Well, not a Queen... Just me... Hey! I'm Mollie, by the way. Im 16, white, female and from a working class background.
But there is something different about me...
That something different isn't extraordinary... Well, not to me anyway. I have an illness called Elhers Danlos Syndrome (it sounds much scarier than it is.)
I'm bendy and weird.
And by bendy and weird, I mean my joints dislocate on their own. This causes me a lot of pain, both physical and mental/emotional.
I'm not bitching, honest!
I mean, I have in the past.... But I guess I've realised that there are people worse off than me? It's whatever to me now. It wasn't at one point, though.... This is where it gets interesting.
*insert dramatic, balletic music*
From the age of 6, all I've wanted to do is dance... I began ballet/tap/acro lessons at said age and I loved it! (I was pretty darn good, too, if I do say so myself.)
*Music intensifies and saddens*
When I was 9, I did a trick and landed funny on my leg, causing my left knee to dislocate itself.... This was the beginning of everything.
*Music quickens, it dramatises*
From then on, my life has been a constant influx of hospital appointments and A&E trips. I've got consultants coming out of my ears.
I'm also a scaredy cat
EDS causes something to happen to the chemistry in my brain, giving me crippling anxiety. This anxiety, at one point, nearly ruined my entire life.
Still a scaredy cat (TRIGGER; SELF HARM)
I wouldn't leave the house, I would chew at my lip and fingers until they bled and then I'd chew some more. I hated myself, wanted to do awful things to myself (actually did at some points.)
The story thickens
At 13, I was forced to move schools due to personal reasons (bullied a lot by horrible people), and that has got to be the biggest and best decision of my life.
Still gwarning on, soz
I met THE BEST people ever.... People who saved my life, honestly.... I went from nothing to something after meeting these people; I felt like me again!
After one particularly bad accident, I was forced to give up dancing, crushing my West End Dreams forever. I again slipped into my old ways.
You may think I'm silly, I don't
Dancing was the only thing keeping me going, the only thing keeping me alive.... But it was gone.., I wanted to be gone.
She literally slapped it outta me
My best friend.... She made me realise that I had so much to live for, all of my favourite things were here, I couldn't just leave!
Massive list of crap coming, guys
The smell after rain, strong, sweet tea, old books, big glasses. Baggy jumpers, Luke Hemmings, French onion soup, my nana and grandad, doggys, Doctor Who, Sherlock, science, strawberry laces, etc
Thinking about how I'd never get to experience those things if I was gone really opened my eyes...
What I'm trying to say, the real point of my rambling, is that no matter how hard your life is (bleurgh), you'll always have things to live for, even if they're trivial, nerdy things like mine.
I'm nearly done, promise
And I know what you're thinking, "what is this child doing? Shit like this isn't going to inspire me?!" But seriously, sit and think about it all....
Think about all of your favourite things/people and then tell me that it doesn't make you want to work harder and live your life, no matter what's in your way.
Back to the illness and that
Yes, I'm ill. Yes, I'm anxious. Yes, I have trouble talking and walking and eating and sleeping and dressing and living. But when I think about my favourite things/people, I can't help but....
Stay alive to experience them. You don't have to be the most well off person with the best life. If you feel like your life is the best, it always will be the best .
I know it's a lot but I hope it helped... ❤️❤️ (I also hope it made sense)
Special mention to Shannon, Toby, Rowan and Joely, for keeping me alive.... You guys truly are my favourite thing. ❤️