When I cut, it is not about death. It is about life. About wanting to feel something that is real. That’s not to say I have no thoughts of death. Suicidal ideation is a part of depression.
But the two things are separate. Cutting is about feeling alive. When you see that blood come out and you feel the pain, you are alive, and present in the moment.
It’s an important distinction to make. That cutting is not necessarily about suicide. But it can be too.
It can be about many different things. For me, I have a bit of an obsession with death too. I have a fear of it, and yet an acceptance also. At times I welcome it. Look forward to it.
These are the times when I am tired, weak, and vulnerable. But I never consider acting on it. I don’t believe suicide is ever a real option.
So I may cut, I may slip, and I may at times crave death, but I will always stay here for my loved ones. I will stay here to help shine light on mental illness.
I will work to help spread awareness and reduce the stigma.
My fellow cutters, correct me if you disagree. But cutting is not about death. It is about life.