I want to die, nearly every day.
Life is hard, painful, frustrating.
No matter what I do people judge.
Even my loved ones are mad at me.
It makes it easier to hate myself.
I’ve no desire to hurt others,
and that is what keeps me here.
Suicide would make my pain theirs.
I know that isn’t fair to anyone.
Yet right now I don’t see any point.
I’m going to die one day anyway.
Why not now? Why not soon?
I think about how I would do it.
Where I would go. A note to leave.
I love you all, but this is too much.
Sleep without waking. I want it.
Will the feeling ever go away?
Or is it a life long struggle?
I’m so tired of internal battles.
This is not me surrendering.
This is not me crying for help.
This is just how I feel. Always.