I can’t sleep. I barely eat. I dream of blood. My meds are out of balance and I am suffering. I can hardly write. My brain is a fog. Consumed by thoughts of blood and death.
All I want is to bleed. It’s all I think about. It makes me feel insane. To be so overwhelmed by this darkness.
I never tried hard drugs. I knew my addiction potential. But the knife found me and it won’t let go. There is no cutters anonymous I can attend. Very few people truly understand it.
I see my therapist tomorrow. My psychiatrist on Friday. Hopefully they can help me out of this place.