I haven’t written a journal in a while and its cause I’m a bit ashamed. I fell off the wagon, as you can see from my poem. But I’m trying to get back on.
I plan to be sober again, starting right now. I’m going to do my best.
I’m pleased that people seem to have liked my story. I’ve spent a lot of time tinkering with it an its been really fun to hope that one day it can be a book or movie or game.
Probably not, but a guy can dream right. :)
I’m trying to still write poetry for those of you who like it. And I know some people like the dark stuff and some like the light stuff, so I’ll try to do both.
I love that so many people follow the page. It feels so freeing to lay my problems out in front of the world and say take me as you will.
Some people may judge me, but I don’t have time for them. My grandmother called me love and that’s what I believe I’m here to do.
So if you’re struggling with anxiety, or depression, or self harm just know that I love you and you are certainly not alone.
My shame over falling off the wagon makes me want to self harm. But I just think NO Whenever those thoughts come in.
I’ve learned in group about the process of change and falling off the wagon is pretty much part of it. The trick seems to be getting back up quicker. I only have a few more weeks of group.
It makes me sad. Its so weird but I need it. It’s like going to school and learning how my own emotions work.
They have classes with themes, therapists pull you out for one on one sessions, as do psychiatrists.
It was nerve wracking at first but now that they are talking about me leaving soon it makes me sad. Just a couple more weeks. Lets hope I can be two weeks sober by then.
Funny. I went in to stop cutting and decided to stop using pot. Nobody is forcing me. That’s another thing I was taught. It’s not I can’t have pot. Instead it’s I choose not to have pot.
That more positive framework really helps.
I’m going to bed soon. As always, thank you for following my page. I appreciate your support.