Journal 10
Journal 10 sad stories

mipoet Insomniac
Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
I don’t want to bleed so much.

Journal 10

I don’t want to bleed so much. I’m learning positive affirmations. I think about myself when I was five. Would I talk to my young self the way I talk to my real self? Never.

I am so mean to myself. Brutal. And that’s where the problem comes from. I’m learning at group that I’m actually pretty lucky.

There are some people with really major depression who struggle to do even the most basic of tasks. There are people who can’t sleep for days on end.

People who’s mood swings have alienated all their friends and loved ones. Or the people who loved was are part of the problem.

One girl is in an abusive relationship. She gets more or less made fun of for being “crazy.” It sounds like there is even physical abuse. I saw her husband.

I hope he never hits her in front of me cause I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back. I’ve never actually seen someone hit their spouse, but I know I wouldn’t be able to stand idly by.

I find it despicable. To intentionally hurt a person you’re supposed to love. I told her she deserves better, and I meant it. I hope she leaves him and finds someone who will treat her right.

But its not my battle, that ones hers. I can at least try to support her when she needs to talk. I think she was so relieved to feel not alone. That’s the real power of group.

These are people who know intimate things about you. Things that sometimes even your loved ones don’t know. There’s a camaraderie.

I feel like I will care about these people for the rest of our lives. I’m even getting as many as I can to join my secret facebook group and I put up inspirational quotes that I find online.

As sappy as it may sound I really love everyone. Even the asshole abusive husband. I don’t like him, and I’d like to kick his ass, but I know deep down he’s just broken too.

We all are in ways. Just not all of us face it. I’m moving from worrying about my own issues to wanting to help others more.

Seriously, if you follow my stuff and ever want to talk just message me. I love to be there for people.

And I don’t want anyone to feel alone when dealing with such tough things like mental illness.

I’m still working on my book.

It’s still a rough draft, I’ve tried to edit as best I can, but once it’s totally done I will read through it all and probably fix wordings and add details where I can.

It really helps to keep my mind occupied. And I see that at least 13 people besides me have liked the last post I put up on it.

So the fact that anyone is actually continuing to be interested in it makes me thrilled. For the first time I see it as something that I will really complete.

Especially if I have people who want to know what happens next. It’s been very empowering. I’m going to try and do some poems too, for those that prefer them.

I’m also super excited to have topped four thousand followers. That just blows my mind.

I hope that number will keep growing, but I can’t thank enough those of you who read and like and comment on my stuff. It really makes me super excited every time my phone chirps.

Thank you as always for reading! I really truly love you all and hope that if you aren’t happy now that you will be soon. Best wishes all!

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