Will i ever fit in, will i ever be normal, will i ever be ME!. Questions i ask myself on a regular basis, in silence of course im not mad.
I wish for a world where my 'negative' personality no longer paints a clouded judgement on what i am told is a beatiful world.
I wish for a world where i know who i am and what i offer is good.
There are days when i silently scream for help for the headache of inner demolition to stop. So loud yet so silent that no one can hear me.
Therefore approving my view that the supernatural cannot exist
A regular question of my daily goings is why ARE you so negative. I shrug as though this is normal for me.
I respond in the same manner 'i guess thats how i always am.
I go home and once more think about that statement remining myself that i was once an innocent young life with nothing but hopes and dreams with a postive view on probably most things.
I still have hopes maybe not the dreams but hope.
Hope that one day i WILL be fixed
Hope that inwill be fixed but am i really broken
I guess like a builder comes by to quote you for repairs you didnt know needed doing but he knows what hes doing right.
I try to fix myslef in anyway that i know how and every time i feel my mind crumble
Crumble into a rubble of broken bricks.
I am now a decaying mess the more i fix myslef the more i decay.
The longer it will take to build back to its beauty it began with.
Sometimes things have to be broken to be put back together right
How many more pieces of my fractured mind body and soul and even those around me must i break to finally know that now is the time to fix those peices together.
How many more times must i break before my eyes close without seeing the glue, the double sided tape and the cement(for good measure) grasp the with both pieces
Pick them up and put myself back together like a puzzle if you will.
But this puzzle has lost its box a long time ago.
How do i know what it will look like in the end
How will how know that i have used all the pieces
How will i know they are in thr right order
How will i know that i am whole