Depression T.W.
Depression T.W. sad stories
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mimiobrien
mimiobrien The words of poetry can be powerful
Autoplay OFF   •   5 months ago
The words will do the talking

Depression T.W.

Depression is me

It's teens

people in their twenties and thirties

It tells you that you're not enough

That you're unloved, weak, and unworthy

It's this thing reminding you daily that dying feels better than living

Sinking

Here we are sinking into the mattress

Staring at the ceiling for hours because you don't have a purpose

life

doesn't

have

a

purpose.

Depression doesn't make it easy to exist

You don't want to be existing because this thing called life is excruciating

And being awake has no more meaning

But here I am

Standing on this rock that keeps spinning and spinning

Hoping I don't fall, but if I do, wondering who will be there to catch me

See, we're hiding in our own bodies and inside we're crying

We're hurting, yelling, and we're screaming

I want to fast forward through all the bad things

The bad dreams; bad days

All the bad feelings and memories

All I want is to stop breathing

All I want is to stop feeling

So hold my hand

Tell me that you love me

I'm sorry

I am sorry but I must not be listening

My depression won't let me

I'm trying

I am really trying

I just want you to understand

I want you to see me

But the things you're not seeing, are the bigger things that you're missing

I am a being

I am a human being

But you don't know what it's like to be me

Wanting to crawl out of your thin skin at least three times a month; weekly, or every minute that goes by daily

At the age of thirteen to fourteen, just in the seventh grade

I sat there scraping

Not like a black and blue bruise or a scraped up knee

More like the scissors you'd use for school

Probably something you weren't even expecting

Something you didn't want

from me

Those cuts soon turned into scars

"I just jumped over a fence and didn't quite make it" If that makes any sense

24 if that goes too far

24 total marks

24 scars.

Depression.

It's a battle

A struggle

A steep mountain that so many of us are climbing

It's something we're facing

A journey of destruction, pain and anxiety

It's our adversity

So you ask me if I'm happy

No.

I'm not happy.

but don't you think I want to be?

It's hard to understand a depressed person

I get it

You don't have to do the explaining

You don't have the suicidal thoughts or the negativity

Nor do you know what on earth I am feeling

But there's one thing that I ask of you

One thing that I am asking

Don't try to understand

Don't try to get it because you can't

Just please accept me

Accept my scars

My flaws

The damage and the imperfectness

Accept that I have had those thoughts

Wanting to float too high up in the sky

To touch the sun to the point where the tears that I cry will turn into steam

I may not live up to your standards or achieve what you want me to achieve

But all of this pain, darkness, and tragedy

All of these broken pieces hidden in between the creases is a part of my being

Is a part of me

And despite the lack of light in my life that I need but somehow just can't see

Despite the fact that I haven't quite reached my happy ending

Shouldn't it be enough that I'm still alive?

Shouldn't it be enough that I'm still living?

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