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mikoajczerbak
mikoajczerbak I shouldn't even own a pen
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
I have terrible problems
I open with that
Because I expect people will sooner or later run
Never to be seen again

Hi!

I have terrible problems

I open with that

Because I expect people will sooner or later run

Never to be seen again

Gone in a puff of smoke and read messages

with no replies

And I do prefer it to be sooner

Hi!

Whenever I walk into a room

I keep my eyes on the exits

In case of a fire

Or an unwanted conversation

To have my own puff of smoke

And disappear

Hi!

When I leave

I do so without a word

Or even a wave

Because I don't want to be followed out

Hi!

Walking out feels weird

When I'm the one

Setting off the alarms

Bursting the pipes

And lighting up the trash

Hi!

My love is not a day in the sun

It's diving

Headfirst

Into stormy seas hoping they calm

Hi!

When I say I dive

I mean I jump

Don't check

How deep I'll fall

That's for smart people to do

Hi!

When I say I walk out

I mean you could blink

And I would be gone

From the room

Shared photos

And phone contacts

Because what's the point of disappearing

If they can find you again

Hi

When I say

I love

I mean

I drown

And try to swim

Forgetting to struggle

And the concept of surface

And the concept of Oxygen

Hi!

I will be distant and quiet

For months on end

Or a sobbing wreck

For no apparent reason

Hi!

I fall in and out of love in space of days

Intensely at first

Burning out

Like a magnesium fire

Bright but brief

Hi!

I could build a home

Inside your chest

All thatched roof and mossy stonework

And run at the first sign rain

Because I'm shit at building

Homes

Roofs

And any other place for me to live

Hi!

My longest and most stable relationship

Is with my depressive

and manic episodes

Since I was told

I love them

More than I could anyone

But in truth

I'm just used to them

Reliable in a way

I always know they'll show up

Hi!

I'm in an abusive relationship

With myself

And consider it beyond saving

They're a bad roommate

The kind that takes your food

And borrows clothes

Never to return them

I would move out

If I could

So, please

Try to listen before screaming

When I walk over

Awkwardly smile

And say

Hi!

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