from // my heart
poem title: don't ( written 08//22//2020 )
" if you fall in love with me, don't.
if you fall into love me, i'll be so flattered and honored,
i'll feel touched,
i'll probably get emotional...
if you fall in love with me, i'll be as nice as possible about it,
i'll make sure i don't let it cause a strange difference in our friendship,
i'll treat you well and still love you, maybe even more,
if you fall in love with me, i'll do everything i can to make sure i don't hurt you,
i'll make sure your heart is okay,
i'll let you down as easily as i can...
but, if you fall in love with me, i'll lead you on,
i'll flirt and keep hurting you, even if i don't intend to do so,
i'll keep you wondering, even when it's unhealthy...
if you fall in love with me, i'll have to turn you down,
i'll make it known that i can't be with you,
i'll show you that my heart is still attached to someone...
if you fall in love with me, i'll let you down,
i'll make you feel stupid and crazy for ever loving me,
i'll probably break your heart...
and if you fall in love with me, i'll have a hard time handling that,
i'll feel more insecure and confused,
i'll hide away and isolate myself more...
if you fall in love with me, i'll feel worse about myself knowing that i will hurt you in the end,
i'll be driven insane, as if i'm not there right now,
i'll be a godforsaken mess...
if you fall in love with me, i'll hate myself for what i did and what i'm going to do,
i'll be torn with so many thoughts and feelings,
i'll write poems like this...
to be honest, if you fall in love with me, you'll drain me,
you'll make me retreat even more,
you'll be too much for me, even if you aren't doing anything wrong or anything at all...
if you fall in love with me, you'll be sorry,
you'll be hurt,
you'll feel like you're making a fool of yourself,
you'll be drained,
you'll wish you didn't fall in love me...
if you fall in love with me, just don't...
because i want it to be ***, not you,
because i'm not ready,
and because it won't be good for either us,
at least, i don't think it will be... "
this was written upon a time when i was still madly in love with someone.
i couldn't let go for so long, and i knew that caused loving someone else or accepting love from someone else to be very hard, despite having this one-sided crush.
this was very true at the time i wrote it, and it still has its relevance today ( 03//02/2021 ).