If I Have Ever Loved You
If I Have Ever Loved You button poetry stories
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midnite
midnite A poet.
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
Wrote this while reading Lolita.

If I Have Ever Loved You

If I have ever loved you,

It is because I need to,

Because I desperately, desperately need to

Murder this internal and cosmic pain

That rattled my entrails, and fondled my funny brain;

Because your rosy heart is scrambled,

Mangled, and entangled,

Into a garden of sunny flamingos,

Into a corner of Asphodel Meadows--

And rescued me from my limbo--

In a fashion so incredibly, incredibly sublime!

Therefore, I made you my hostage,

My dazing and gazing hostage

Of a delectable and supple age--

Like in Stockholm, K.C., and Vienna,

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I made you a princess in my princedom of trauma,

In my bad taste and mad haste for trite and worn-out drama--

You are the little star--in my humble theatrical,

You are the starry angel, starry and classical!

Immortal like the sunshine, eternal like the boreal night,

And celestial like a lascivious bite--

And you bit deep into my wounded pride,

And cured me of my sickness a thousand times;

While I kissed you like Icarus kissed the sky,

With my lips eclipsed however your life and light:

Alas! I killed you--my brilliant, brilliant bride,

As you healed me, and thrilled me with a true romantic crime.

Alas! My bitter and lonely self lingers obediently

In the dusty shadow of an antique dream that dies day after day--

Softly, plainly, insanely, and metaphysically,

Day after day after day--

Away--away--away--

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