The bright blades come for you
They attack you
You are clueless
First, a small cut.
Not a big bleeding cut, but just enough to sting
Then the cut grows into an infection and spreads
Into your memories, emotions, and thoughts
It consumes you every chance it gets
The image of yourself is shattered.
The friends you made are still friends
but what you bonded over has disappeared.
You are screaming yet not able to speak.
You don't know what to do or who can help.
You start to lie right in their faces.
You say you did something else instead.
That it was your choice,
but in reality the choice was stolen from your hands.
You try again.
This time you feel good, you are performing well,
Confidence is blossoming,
Friends are around,
and you are simply happy.
The pain of the blades come back.
Someone asks again,
"Did you play this season?"
My mind and heart crack
All the awful thoughts rush into my head
And then I lie