Yr pedicured girlfriend implored me to break yr heart for the both of us. She told me she'd gotten a rice cooker for Christmas. I lost myself and laughed my ass off. Who the fuck buys a rice cooker for a partner and then just thinks, yeah, this is a good gift?
Anyway, we closed the relationship & then you broke your windshield & then my dashboard & then my hand & then we ended the relationship. But I still don't have a rice cooker.