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merasampson
merasampsonCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  2 years ago
I fell. It took a while for me to hit the ground.

Deep

I fell.

It took a while for me to hit the ground.

This falling,

It felt like recollection,

like dreaming of childhood summers,

but only on the days when I didn't want to cry.

Sometimes, he felt like autumn evenings curling up with a good book.

Others, he felt like the first time careening down a water slide.

Both were good. Great. Amazing.

Life changing.

But eventually,

I had to stop falling.

That's how gravity works.

I hit the ground

but it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would.

He was still there.

Still my summer breeze. Still helping me fill my void.

Still making the darkness hide in a corner of my heart.

Sometimes, though, the darkness gets to come out.

Like, when I first hit the ground,

and the sweetness of his lips tasted saccharine.

Too sweet, like falseties. Processed sugar & waxy tongue.

Like everytime I cast away my doubts, I was being stupid.

Like, it wasn't just my trust issues, it was his issues with commitment.

Like falling was no longer a water slide,

It was punishment.

But I was able to shake it off because the sugar was addictive ,

but nothing was as addictive as his touch.

I fell.

And when I fell,

I fell deep.

And I still don't know if I'm throwing away my negative thoughts,

or if I'm simply being naive.

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