Dearest Fox
Dearest Fox pain stories
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megyates Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   4 years ago

Dearest Fox

by megyates

The moment I saw you my world slowed down.

The lights stopped flashing and focused on you, the bass changed tempo and matched the throbbing of my heart and the people around me faded away one by one until it was just you and I in the room

It wasn't just my hands reaching out to the speakers but the fingers of my heart stretching towards you, recognising a similar soul and aching to be with you, just to know your name.

My head fills with memories not yet made and roads not walked and opportunities that await us round every corner. You are the life I want to lead and so I'll throw myself to you.

In the second when I looked at you I felt the hollowness in my body close and hope rush into me once again, like a soldier and his rifle without you I am nothing, there may be many like you

But you are mine.

I will break my back and snap my fingers just to be near you, I would cut my hair and ink my skin if it would prove my love for you, and when you have pushed me away I have lingered with hope

But months have passed and tears have flown and you are still not mine alone. I feel like I'm losing touch with reality and every time you leave my chest aches and my heart shatters.

Every time, I pray for you to come back. Reaching out to a god that I don't know is listening, I give you my everything again and again and it runs off you like water off a duck's back

I cannot do this anymore

Still I will get up from the darkness of my room and I'll blink through the bleariness of the day and I will carry on like I am fine when inside I am fading away bit by bit

Loneliness has lost it's feeling and morphed into personality. With fear in my smile and pain in my heart I will exist but nothing more, nothing more than a hollow resemblance to what used to be.

Without you I am gliding like a ghost in a starved reality in which I live sickly and suspended until you replace my supports with marionette strings and watch me dance for your amusement.

With heavy shoulders and bloodshot eyes I'll give in to you. Let you back in just to let you freely out again. I will lick my wounds just to let you rip the scabs open.

I am not who I was before you. I am not who I was before.

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