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marquaebrown
marquaebrownA Poetry/Short Story Writer
Autoplay OFF  •  2 months ago
A Young Adult Male Who Has Inner Thoughts On His Life

I never really understood my life did it go wrong because I was born did it go wrong because I’m academically challenged did it go wrong because my own father seen me ass a waste of money or did it go wrong because my mother sees that I look like my dad & only sees negativity in me, my life is a straight up hell I get told that I’m over weight the way I carry myself is gross or the fact I was born with things that are not my fault I didn’t ask for this every night I pray I can wake up & be smart or in shape but it doesn’t work I see myself as one of a kind but everybody else sees me as a impulsive idiotic slob it’s hard for me waking up & knowing everybody thinks negative of me sometimes I just wanna run away or hang myself I can’t do certain things because I’m either to big or don’t have the right academic skills I wanna be positive but majority is negative one day I’m a jump & when I jump there will be nobody there as always growing up all I wanted was a fatherly bond where I can actually go do things or even just talk, I always wanted a mom that listens when I try to communicate or even just want a little motherly love, siblings & other family who doesn’t think negative or dislike me I wanna say that I feel loved but I don’t it’s been 18 long stressful, painful, negative years & I’m thinking of ending it all every night I tie a rope together questioning myself is it time to go will you be missed or will you just be another depressed impulsive statistic all I ever wanted was a little love not a lot but just a little love where I can take the one little inch I Got & Stretch it to the yard but life don’t work like that I try to change & better myself but it’s impossible to do it with negativity around maybe it is time I disappear maybe the pain & suffering will finally end I’m on the edge & idk if I wanna live or go I probably should go everybody be happy the overweight smelly idiotic slob isn’t around anymore I guess it’s time I say goodbye I can’t take it anymore but no I push myself to the best ability I can I keep a fake smile even though it’s not real sometimes you gotta fake it to make but I’m this situation is a curious one they say there’s no place like home but every time you go home & every is negative towards you is it a home? or is it a mental home where they make you feel bad about yourself to bring you to negativity island with them? ~ The Overweight Smelly Idiotic Slob

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