"I'm a schizophrenic. May I have some lawn darts?"
"Lord no! Those were outlawed in 1988 after two children died!"
"I'm also violent and angry. May I have a Kinder Surprise Egg?"
"Heaven's no. Those have been outlawed since the 1970's, too many children could be at risk of choking!"
"I'm also a patriot. May I have that military grade assault rifle with large capacity magazine?"
"It's your God given right, young man! Were you looking to pay cash or would you be interested in a payment plan? On approved credit of course."