"What about you Jess? Who's your crush?" Ashley and Carrie watch closely as I search for a name.
I've been dreading this, when my sister's and I would have girl talk once again. Sure, it's supposed to be fun but not when you're not supposed to like who you like.
"Promise you won't laugh?" I tease them, they nod eagerly. "Austin."
"Austin?!" They squeal together.
"He's kind of a bad boy you know?" Ashley teases. "But he does have that..."
"Drunkish Swag?" Carrie interjects. We all giggle.
"He's really nice though." My knees are starting to look white by how hard I'm squeezing them under my chin. I can't bare lying to my sisters.
"I guess, but would you really wanna marry him Jess? Cigarettes and beer don't look great at a wedding. Not to mention what dad would say..."
Great, the wedding talk already. My sister's are obsessed with weddings and getting married.
It's probably due to my parents always telling us about how we need to find the perfect guy, be perfect innocent girls and get married before ever even kissing our for life husbands. (We're a no divorce allowed kind of family).
"Jessica Rowley..." Carrie tries Austin's last name on me, "It's not the worst last name. But Jessica Johnson would fit so much better." She throws me a wink, it scares me more than anything.
I still can't hide my blush though.
My sister's are obsessed with me and Henry Johnson getting together. He's a really nice guy and I guess he's good looking but he's definitely not my type.
Ridley Johnson however...
"I have it on good authority he's been asking around about you Jess." Ashley pokes at me, "apparently he even talked with dad."
"What?!" I shake my head, "I don't want anything to do with Henry. He's, not my type at all. And why would he bring dad into this?"
"Got to get off those bad boys Jess, they're not good for you." Ashley scolds me. "Especially when you've got someone like Henry around."
I shake my head, tired of all this and quickly throw Ashley's crush up for grabs. The girls take the bait and I'm free and clear, for now. After another hour or so we all head of to our rooms.
Later on Carrie sneaks into mine.
"Are you still awake?" She whispers.
"Yeah, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." She shuffles up into my bed and faces me. "hey Jess..." I can tell she's nervous. Carrie doesn't get nervous easy, now I'm starting to get anxious.
"What is is?"
"I know about you and Ridley."
My heart stops. The room takes on an icy feel and I wish that I was anywhere except here.
"Ridley?" I try, hating my voice for shaking. "she's a good frie-"
"Don't lie to me Jess. I saw you guys the other day, behind the barn."
My mouth feels so damn dry.
"And?" It feels like I can't breathe, I didn't realize anyone was around during Ridley and I's little make-out session.
"And I'm okay with it." Carrie smiles, rubbing circles into my shoulder.
Instant relief floods through my body, but I was still dreading what she might say next.
"Jess, you need to be more careful. Do you know what dad would do if he found out?" Torturous death was my best guess.
"You won't tell him right?"
"Of course not. It's your secret to tell, not mine." She hugs me. "I just wanted you to know that I love you, even knowing you're gay."
My eyes start to water. I hadn't known how much I needed to hear those words before. I thought my family would all hate me and kick me to the curb if they found out.
But here Carrie was, accepting me.
"Thank you." I cry into out hug. Soaking her shoulder.
She holds me tighter.
Carrie stays with me the rest of the night, we talk some but mostly she holds me as I cry.
I don't know what will come tomorrow, but tonight has been the best night of my life. -END-
(This story is dedicated to my sister. We grew up in an extremely conservative Christian home. After meeting my first girlfriend (at the time bff) my sister found out and 100% supported me through all the ups and downs of carrying my secret and dealing with the later backlash from my parents about it. Thank you so much sister o' mine).