By Maria Okumura
When I look at my past all I can see is a distant smile.
A once happy smile that no longer lingers anywhere.
I used to love to ride the plastic horses in every store,
or pretend that at the top of every hill there lived a fairy.
One night I remember thinking I was a princess in a white gown and Peter would fly into my window and whisk me away.
Now everything is dull and bleak.
Every second of my day is stolen by school, work or other "responsibilities."
When my day is finished I sit with a broken and half dead laptop on my lap, writing whatever comes out.
Nothing new happens.
I just sit and type away.
Praying I don't fall asleep too soon.
The future is full of despair.
I don't want to grow up, I'm still waiting for Peter.
Adulthood is less than a month away and I'm praying it stays away.
I know it's just a number
but I cry thinking about what it means.
I don't want that responsibility.
I don't want that pain.
I don't want him to ask me.
but above all, I don't want to change.