I've become so into my image and the way I look that I choose isolation as my consolation.
I don't want to be seen in the public eye.
I feel ashamed of my body and I don't wish for others to see.
I don't want others to see me like this.
I feel better when I'm alone.
But I am scared to be by myself.
I can't be left alone with my thoughts because they make me want to rip my insides out.
They scream into my ears how much I hate myself.
I wish to tear my body apart.
I can't sleep.
I refuse to be with my darkness.
It's a long process to shut down and quiet away from the monsters.
I feel numb
Its time to "sleep".
Insomnia doesn't go away. I am in a cycle that repeats itself and no matter how hard I try to shut down the monsters, no matter the outcome they are always there to remind me
how little I am worth
and they always
I am not important and I am not worth anything if I have this body.