I wasn’t in love with him, but I did love him.
Ever since we met, he has mattered to me in ways people like him shouldn’t have.
As a friend, he has always been important.
Still, I wish I could only comprehend him.
He’s quiet, but whenever he speaks, his voice fills the room and demands attention.
His hair is wild, but he styles it anyways.
He wants to be seen, to be known, but just by the surface.
He knows that if he lets people in, they’ll understand him, and therefore have power over him.
I don’t think he likes to be controlled.
He enjoys being the one pulling the strings, the mastermind behind everything.
People made fun of him for being short, so I think his biggest goal is to finally get to be on top.
People looked down on him for too long, and now he wants proof that they can’t anymore.
But most of all I think he’s confused.
He’s not sure about what he wants besides greatness, and he’s afraid to make permanent decisions.
He has no choice then but to enjoy the present and make the most of it.
He tries to live his moments to the fullest, but he’s scared of tomorrow. He hides it well, but I think he knows he’ll collapse.
He’s my sun.
When is presence is light, it’s beautiful. It’s absolutely vital.
But when he gets too bright, he becomes too powerful, and it makes him terrifying.
When his anger rises, I swear his glare is capable of boiling water and burning souls.
His biggest tell are his eyes.
He looks down when he’s thoughtful, and when he’s serious, he stares you right in the eye.
His mouth curls at the sides when he’s playful, but when he’s raging, his mouth either doesn’t move or curves in the most wicked grin you’ll ever get to see.
Still, no matter his mood, he’s beautiful.
Beautiful, but so fucking complicated.
I hope someday he succeeds in finding out whatever it is that he wants. I hope it’s not too late by then.
- but he is not the center of my universe.