Addiction? To misery?
Addiction? To misery? depression stories

marauderhealth Mentally defeated potato
Autoplay OFF   •   6 months ago
Persistent bad habits of thinking.

Addiction? To misery?

Do you ever have this... this feeling, or habit, or just any 'thing' that you do almost every day when the skies look gray no matter the weather?

When your soul just feels... empty. Torn away. And the days just blend in together and barely anything helps.

You don't want to disturb your old friends with your issues because the friendship is not that 'deep' or just not a thing people do?

Sending messages or going to a voice channel on an app feels like you would be intruding on others and their time to have fun.

Unable to pretend to have fun with them so you could blend in and distract yourself.

But instead, the creeper is coiling itself ever tighter around your thoughts and suffocating everything else.

That mistake you made before, that mistake you cannot forgive yourself for because it ruined something great in your life and you are just unable to deal with it. To live with it.

Everything in the world is gray, food is gray, effort is gray.

When everything feels so impossible to do, and yet some extremely tiny portion of you might still be trying to say 'hey, it gets better, right?'


Why would you believe that, when everything has been a constant struggle and everything pushes you down and down further still onto your knees while tears stream down your face?

You see your friends, your former friends, acquaintances, friends of friends, playing games and enjoying their time... Having fun.

Doing things you would love to do with them, or interact with even if it was just chilling in a voice call with them.

But, again...

Why would you. Why would it matter, why would it help... Nobody else needs to be burdened with your problems, to ruin their day by having them be in your aura of influence.

Is it not better to just... slip away into the background? Disappear?

As if you had never existed in the first place... That is the ideal, is it not?

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