All of our lives we search for something. Something to fill the void, something to give our life meaning. The reason is different for everyone, but it's always there.
Throughout history, throughout life, it is a constant, humanity developing and growing as they try to find a reason for life, a reason why they continue to breathe, why they are here.
You used to know your reason, your purpose.
You had a goal, dreams, a life ready to take off in your direction.
You were going to be a writer, and even if only one book was finished, it didn't matter because you believed you were going to get a publisher on board soon.
It was something you had started with your best friend, and it was something you both had dreamed of since you were children in 7th grade.
It was a place where you could reach people with your message, and show them your world.
You wanted to share your world with everyone you could, and if your words were able to touch someone...then you believed you were doing something right.
You were going to be a dancer. You were already well known on YouTube for your dance group, "Infinite Stars".
A group you had started in high school, a group which consisted of 8 of your closest friends, your sister and your best friend. Including you, that consisted of 11 members.
You did all kinds of covers from Kpop bands, as well as some of your own choreography.
Not only was it fun, but through dance you were able to connect with those around you in trust and confidence.
Through a few movements, you could inspire someone with inexplainable emotions in their hearts. Tell them a story only they would know.
It was something you haven't experienced before and through dance, you found a new family, one to stay by your side through everything you have ever gone through.
You were going to be a singer. You had sung all your life, and it was something you went to when you didn't have anything else to express yourself.
You lost yourself in the music and let the story of each song wash over you and control your emotions when you had no control left.
It was your soul, and in every song you ever sng, you put your soul on display for the whole world to see.
Even if it was battered, even if it was broken, you did it because you wanted to reach them through your words, you wanted to touch them with your voice.
You were going to be an artist. A word that summed up all the words above, and a word that let your creative mind roam with the touch of a pencil to a piece of paper.
It was something that allowed you an outlet, a place to escape your reality and delve into a world of your own making. It was something that you could speak through without using your own words.
Something you could do when you had no more words to say, when all that was left in you was the emotion and bottled up torment that you had kept inside for way too long.
This was part of your dream, part of your goal for your life. You didn't care if it was busy, you didn't care if you did so many things, they got mixed up.
You didn't care if you had to work a job on the side at a bookstore. You were living your dream, and it was fun. You had your friends, you had the love of your family, you even had few fans.
And you had met someone whom you loved so much, who was there for you and didn't mind the dreams which you cooked up.
He said he loved you too.
You were going to live with your dance group, you were going to perform at KCON,
you were going to get your first ever book published and start on the incredible journey to becoming a writer to becoming everything you ever wanted to be.
It was a big dream, but it was your dream. And you were climbing the small foothills to achieve it.
Then, everything was broken.
Was it your fault?
Was it his?
Thinking back, however, things have always been broken. And you...you have never been fixed.
Your phone buzzes from where it rests in your pocket, and you jump, smiling a bit to yourself at how you were staring off into space before.
When you turn it on, however, your smile fades as you see the picture on your lock screen.
You're smiling up at the camera, your smile big and bright, your eyes squinted into slits, as they often do when you're smiling or when you're laughing.
In your eyes you can only see happiness and joy. The picture gives you a jolt to the heart. A jolt of pain. Sitting next to you, is him. He's smiling as well, his eyes watching you.
In that moment, there may have been signs of tenderness and love but....it could have been a lie.
Just like everything else.
Just how wrong have you been?
How much of it was a lie?
How much of it was true?
Tears appearing at your eyes, you quickly press your finger on the home button, your fingerprint opening your phone, the picture fading away.
Hopefully your memories will soon do the same.
Thankfully, your wallpaper holds no image of him, instead, it is the same smiling picture of Kim Taehyung.
At the image of his green face mask and the mischievous look in his eyes, you smirk a little. It's amazing what pictures you can find on Google, especially when you search "BTS".
Moving on from the adorable snapshot of the wonderful little alien, your Spotify continues to play relaxing music through your wireless earbuds,
you click on the notification that caused your phone to buzz. It brings you to a group chat titled "Infinite Stars".
They're just chatting amongst themselves, planning your team's next dance gig. One which you won't be there for.
The plane jostles a bit from slight turbulence, but it almost fades as quickly as it began.
You had to get away from the life you had back home, you couldn't handle it anymore.
The same faces holding the same painful memories, it was impossible to erase from your mind, impossible to break away from.
You were tired of the same people asking the same question if you were okay, the same looks that would pity you even though you didn't want to be pitied.
You felt trapped, as though you were suffocating. So you escaped. You needed time away, and the farthest place you could think of was...
When you were in high school, you and your friends would always talk of visiting, and you did when Infinite Stars was getting major views.
It was in the beginning of your groups YouTube extravaganza, and the trip was the most amazing you had ever encountered.
While you were there, you were even able to go to a BTS concert, and it was your first concert EVER.
The best part about it was that you were able to get front seats from a raffle you had entered.
You still have the video that Kim Taehyung took when he "stole" your phone from you amidst the crowd. It's saved safely in your Photos and you smile when you think of it.
It was probably the best thing that could have happened to you, and it certainly was on your bucket list to have happen.
Anyway, your mother moved there after all your siblings had grown up and left the house. She lives in Daegu, however, and you weren't quite ready for her to know of your existence in Korea yet.
You've never even thought of your existence happening in Korea. You thought that the country would stay what it was.
A slight dream of yours, a place of vacation, a good place for a trip, a place where one of your tiny dreams came true.
You never thought you would call it home.
(note from author: if you want to see the rest of the story, then please check out the original link for which this is posted!
This is just a snippet of the story, so I hope you find this interesting and check it out on the original site! Thank you for reading!
I will post small snippets of the story on here, but that's it since this site is really made for short stories, however I hope you find it interesting and continue to read!!! P.P.S.
the link is beloww eheh)