it’s been a while since i’ve seen him.
the devil looks at me with a charming glint in his eye,
his bony hand outstretched from a perfectly tailored suit
beckons me to join him, to dance with him once again
it’s the middle of the night and i’m lonely.
dinner is prepared for the two of us
i look down at what innocence has been sacrificed to feed our greedy guts,
i’m no good....
i’m just like him.
i give in to the selfish hunger
he tells me i deserve to eat.
alone i sit atop the bathroom counter
a piece of silver in my left hand.
so bare — i ponder red decoration.
the other scars have already faded.
he offers me a drink, unmistakably aware i gave it up for good
i don’t like who i become....
i don’t like who i become.... someone similar to the being before me.
it’s the middle of the night and i’m hopeless.
i accept the drink,
and the next one
and the next one and the next one
and the next one and the next one and the next one
i have to soothe my heartache.
he appears when i need him most,
with his hand reaching out,
ready to dance the night away
and heal me of my pain.
he knows when to show up —
when i am most vulnerable
and embody recklessness.
i’m in pain and he can take it all away.
i take his hand and dance into eternity.