Who am I? Well isn't that the silliest question to ask someone something so personal like that! However, it doesn't mean you'll get results. Want to know why...? If you do...
then I'll let my true self invite you straight past the conscious mind that is always "wilting" at the presence (besides my own) that gives it such fear!
The true self is feeling the urge to make it's move. Now we are passing by the ending borders of whatever makes up the outskirts of the conscious mind.
What I'd like to call the "caressing at the edge of one's own consciousness"! Now the true self is feeling they need to do something quicker!
Or else your very invitation would become too quick (not too judge roughly).
And not meet up too the standards of what my true self truly wants from you before we essentially meet (sooner rather than later).
That's when the outskirts immediately became blackened!
As if something simply just "snuff out" the light keeping the waking state forever lit so regular information could be normally processed by your very thoughts.
But I think we ALL know better than to trust something too lightly (this time around). Whatever just happened, had never happened before. Except when it always did, apparently.
Just not in a perceiving (still "consciously" lit sort of way) when your still able to see everything on through. But then...whatever was the "blackening of a lit focus" all about then...
? It wasn't... Well not literally, anyways. That blackening was just my conscious mind being removed from standard reality altogether.
And the caressing at the edge of one's own consciousness was actually the most literal physical touch from something I don't ever want to engage with! But that doesn't mean it was my true self.
That's why we simply continue on towards one's very subconscious (which I think is a complete sham)! A fake meant to lure you into a very "disembodied" atmosphere!
A mere pre-setup distortion meant to confuse everyone who simply wanted to know simply about their very general make-up.
You latch onto it, and in the ("spur of the moment") you become executed from your very visual sights altogether. Seeing something completely in a very black smudge sort of way.
It's unmistakable! You are perceiving everything (and yourself) as this very black smudging representation. It's ghastly! But it's working it's very magic! Because it's real (nonetheless).
Real as anything real can get! As your own already perceiving touch that which can't hope to match up to this one.
And yet, this is from the literal inside out of who and what we truthfully are, essentially. In this state, you start to lose ALL sense of yourself one piece at a time.
Slowly forgetting you even came here in the first place. That's when you then suddenly feel this non-physical tug. A tug that couldn't have been real.
When it's just your own mere mental projection meant to feel your bodies limits back upon the surface trying to tether it's pull on you back to that very surface.
Your body was trying to enact an official "recall"! Judgment that was meant to be just that...
pure "judgement"! Judgment that will slowly eat you up, if you aren't so lucky as to continue going deep within yourself...
forevermore! That can't ever happen! Which is why my body is desperately now trying to reel me back in too safety.
Trying to pull me back to standard reality where sense was meant to hold on tightly too everything you held dear! Especially also saving the one you brought with you.
The invitation was merely becoming stepped on! Spit on! Disgracing a true self's audience...
was like upsetting your soul's very effort's at trying to desperately re-establish the connection with both your mind and body.
When your body was able to reel you in, you will feel the very lightest of a single tug (besides whatever else was tugging on me).
The tug again (that was not my bodies "tethering" effort), was that of a non-physical nature. Made to easily trick and silence ALL your efforts in one globalized realization.
A globalized realization that was false at first. Then once again remained it's inviting tone to say the least.
I simply didn't distrust myself of whatever was down there would let me flow freely. Because whatever was pulling me back towards the surface, was the ("safe harbor of trust") itself.
Something I was always used to. Not the uncharted territory that myself was never used to...
but (nevertheless) is attached too ALL of us! I was still being pulled backward, whilst the lightly non-physical tug that seemed eerily non-existent.
Impossibly so! All I see when looking at the thing grabbing onto me, was that of a very translucent sight of a glossy glow made to be the colour of slight gray.
Whilst the darkness itself enveloping it slowly distorted any other colour for me to simply recognize. Because that's all I saw from beyond the shadows.
More blanketing darkness that seemed to be a face more then just some regular representation of a normal pitch-black void! (I didn't see a face necessarily...
as I "impossibly so" could certainly sense one!) That's when I was slowly (but surely) seeing the quickly enveloping darkness being pulled away from itself.
But that was only but a small illusion among the different representations of distortions that had to do with being sucked through and inward throughout different conscious realms and
their (seemingly) scary states collapsing me one piece at a time. (Not to mention whatever it was doing to my friend.
) I didn't understand it until afterward, nor was I even aware of the continuous strain that seemed to go on for eternity! I was losing myself one piece at a time.
But that doesn't mean I was losing my intelligence in my very senses not to know the difference. Especially "conscious wise". When I came back to my senses...
it had felt like everything was that of a complete blur...! However, there I was, completely sitting there in class on another regular day of school.
Except this time, there was a friend of mine that reminded me fully of what essentially just happened.
And then saying they were scared for their very life!
Simply perceiving them as if they were still my bodies entire representation reeling me back into the light, to "jump-start" my consciousness once again!
(As if hinting this has happened to me on "more than one occasion"!) Because it seems that when I came back, my entire system was still in the process of essentially "rebooting"!
I did after all reportedly lost pieces of myself, that were still (slowly but surely) reassembling itself.
As they weren't entirely "ripped or stripped" only to be forever lost in that seemingly eternal darkness. FOREVER! Yes and no! They were merely misplaced (more than anything else).
Thrown off into the background somewhere, only to be "lashed" for their very representations, openly. Somewhere entirely behind the scenes where I had no right to go.
(Probably because I needed to fulfill the necessary wishes of my true self's invitation...likewise with a friend, this time around...
) When all the sudden my friend started speaking to me (as if they simply were trying to snap me out of my supposed "shocked spell" I still was apparently in)! Then before I knew it...
They were simply running away from me (as they always reportedly seemed to do.
) Wailing with both hands covering their very eyes as if they were suddenly crying! (I was flabbergasted!) Then I simply opened my mouth just a crack, and said one thing... Dammit! I messed up...