My Friends Will Never Know
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madspaigeCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  4 months ago
This is just something I wrote when I was feeling really down one day. I heard that writing about my feelings could help, and it did. Also, just wanting to share this because I feel like I'm the only one. A size 16 surrounded by size 6-8, I feel like the "big girl" of my friends.

My Friends Will Never Know

by madspaige

My friends will never know That I compare myself to them every single day

My friends will never know I spend every waking minute, thinking about my appearance

My friends will never know I wish to have bodies like them

My friends will never know I can't look at myself in the mirror without feeling repulsive

My friends will never know I hate taking pictures with them, because I'm always the biggest one

My friends will never know I obsess over my physical appearance

My friends will never know I haven't gone swimming in years, because I am ashamed of my body

My friends will never know I fear for when warm weather comes and it’s time to wear shorts

My friends will never know I loathe myself so much, I can barely concentrate on any task

My friends will never know That I feel like crying when they talk bad about their bodies

My friends will never know That I feel self conscious every single second

My friends will never know The deep wrenching feeling I get when something won’t fit on my body

My friends will never know That I am always looking down at myself to make sure I look okay

My friends will never know How I feel when I undress and look at myself in the mirror in disgust

My friends will never know How stressful it is for me to go clothes shopping

My friends will never know The amount of times I've cried inside fitting rooms

My friends will never know The feelings that I endure about my body every single day

My friends will never know.

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lynnWriter - Dreamer - Traveler
4 months agoReply
Thank you so much for being so brave and sharing your feelings. You now have helped anyone who reads this that thought they were alone. Your words are moving and inspirational, I hope you keep writing!

4 months agoReply
A very powerful post, I am sure many people can relate. It's hard to admit outloud what you really feel and that is the power of writing; writing is a release and a truth. Rest assurred, your friends have things they obsess about too. I began a journey last September to feel comfortable in my own skin and for me that meant loosing weight. What ever you think you need to do to feel comfortable in your own skin please find a friend to join you in that journey. I've learned I can't do anything on my own:) Best of luck

listy3I'm in love with the psychos ♡
4 months agoReply
Love yourself because I know you're beautiful ♡

nuraylove to read & write
4 months agoReply
i relate to this post so much that it made me cry :'( i feel the same... i really don't understand when people have perfect bodies, hairs, height and perfect everything and they complain about their life... why can't they see that there are other people who wish for exactly their life... i think MY FRIENDS WILL NEVER KNOW THAT

chissjacksBronze CommaA writer with a big heart.
4 months agoReply
Your friends will never know, but those of us who read this do. Don't feel bad about how you look on the outside, instead, take pride in the beauty that is you on the inside. When you nurture your character, you will shine brighter than any model, or celebrity that graces the cover of a magazine. Inner beauty is so scarce today, so don't hesitate to let yours shine.

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
4 months agoReply
I am sure you are quite right that your friends will never know. I'll bet that you will never know how they hate their bodies and some think they are to fat and some think they are to skinny. They are just as worried as you are. But about different things. My son was an athlete but became addicted to junk food and gained about 200lbs, IIn the past year and a half he has lost 175lbs. If you announce to your friends, "I am going to lose 50lbs by the end of summer." They will be positive and helpful. Great post!!!!!!