My Friends Will Never Know

by madspaige

My friends will never know That I compare myself to them every single day

My friends will never know I spend every waking minute, thinking about my appearance

My friends will never know I wish to have bodies like them

My friends will never know I can't look at myself in the mirror without feeling repulsive

My friends will never know I hate taking pictures with them, because I'm always the biggest one

My friends will never know I obsess over my physical appearance

My friends will never know I haven't gone swimming in years, because I am ashamed of my body

My friends will never know I fear for when warm weather comes and it’s time to wear shorts

My friends will never know I loathe myself so much, I can barely concentrate on any task

My friends will never know That I feel like crying when they talk bad about their bodies

My friends will never know That I feel self conscious every single second

My friends will never know The deep wrenching feeling I get when something won’t fit on my body

My friends will never know That I am always looking down at myself to make sure I look okay

My friends will never know How I feel when I undress and look at myself in the mirror in disgust

My friends will never know How stressful it is for me to go clothes shopping

My friends will never know The amount of times I've cried inside fitting rooms

My friends will never know The feelings that I endure about my body every single day

My friends will never know.