Choices
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I never understood how people could laugh and still hate their life, How they can wear nice clothes and still feel dirty,

Choices

I never understood how people could laugh and still hate their life,

How they can wear nice clothes and still feel dirty,

Have the most beautiful face and still feel ugly,

Live life to the fullest and still feel empty,

Have everything and still cry,

Live by the ocean and still want to leave,

The first time I heard of suicide I simply thought like the rest,

They were selfish,

Didn't appreciate what they had,

Just wanted attention,

Took the easy way out,

Weak,

I truly believed that,

Let me just say I have never been so wrong in my life,

People don't understand how hard it is to live when you all you want to do is die,

How hard it is to walk up those set of stairs,

You don't want to eat because of guilt,

The guilt of improving yourself when that voice inside your head speaks,

Says you don't deserve it,

Stop it,

What are you doing thinking you’re worth the effort,

Stupid you stupid does,

Hating the fact that people love you because it would be so much easier if no one did,

People don't understand,

And honestly it is hard to understand until you go through it,

It's hard to imagine pain when all you see is light,

It's hard to admit that you’re lucky,

That you have it better than most people,

Feel guilty that you’re healthy when he's not,

Feel like crying when she starts to scream,

So know,

You wouldn't understand,

I don't expect you to,

Just keep in mind that just because you can't see it,

Doesn't mean it's not there,

It sickens me that people have the nerve to dismiss it,

Act like it's not even there,

Just something you choose to go through,

They say you always have a choice,

And yes some people do,

But some people don't,

How can you choose when you can't even chew the food right in front of your face,

How can you choose to love yourself when you hate every bone that you’re made of,

So let me tell you one thing,

It's true,

It's a thing,

No,

It's not a deformity,

It's not a bad day,

It's not a choice,

Trust me,

Everyone wants to live,

But not everyone can,

They don't have a choice,

Can't see the way out because the fog is too thick,

You can't live on your own like this,

So you decide to tell someone,

Except you can't because you’re too embarrassed,

You don't want them to find out,

You'd rather die than admit that you’re not okay,

Sometimes you find a person though,

Someone to tell,

Someone that won't judge,

Won't tell your whole family,

Will treat you the same,

It might take some time,

But I know you will find it,

The light in the dark,

The hand reaching out,

Because I know that even though  you want to die,

You don't want anyone else to,

So the next time you cry,

The next time you cut,

The next time you try to scream the pain away,

Remember one thing,

You were not put on this earth to die,

You may live it in pain,

You may try to escape it,

You may even want to end it,

But always remember,

That baby in the overheated car had no choice,

The dog in the ring had no choice,

The kid in the trunk had no choice,

The monkey in the zoo had no choice,

I'm not gonna say that you have one,

Because I don't know you and I don't know that you do,

But someone once told me the thing that I needed to do,

Fight,

Fight like hell,

And when you can't,

Lay down and let someone fight for you,

Let them be there for you,

Even if you hate them,

Even if you don't want them,

They want you.

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