THE BEN Ben has all the same interests as you, So you get on like a house on fire. His sense of humour is perfect, And his linen is always pressed; But he broke up with his ex of 3 years two days ago And will neglect to tell you that.
THE SAM Somehow manages to get you to sleep with him on the first date, I assume by getting you drunk. Has lead an interesting life, However he’s nearing 30 and refuses to grow up.
THE JONN John vapes, Is not interested in any thing you have to say, Will ask you to drink your beer faster, To go to his conveniently close apartment, attempting to geographically force you to stay.
THE PAUL Makes it clear you know he loves drake, Over compliments you to the extent it’s fake. Will tell you how he wants to meet your friends, Also much he earns, And other wildly inappropriate facts that should not be ever heard.