All my friends are addicts. All my friends are damaged. I used to think I attracted them, now I realise I actively seek them out.
I love them because they make me feel okay about being who I am, becoming, what I have become.
I do not want them to get better. I want them to stay shackled to me, weighed down by sadness, chaos, drugs and codependence.
That is not friendship. That is selfish. What I have become is a selfish entity, co existing with these people who will voice their concern about my lifestyle, when really they don’t want me to stop enabling them just as much as me.
We would all be better off without each other, and yet they are my family.
What many people fail to understand is that drug addiction eventually ceases to be fun. For the most part we are using alone. For the most part we are not even high. And during the rare times we come to, we look around and realise we are surrounded by everything and everyone that god forgot to touch.