You have a tendency to romanticize your own pain, but not in the way most will assume.
You believe in this idea that if it's seen as beautiful or an "artistic" form the impact of the hurt will be lessened.
It's only then, through rose tinted glasses or the eyes of an audience, that you can face it.
It might be one of the most dangerous fences to teeter on, because truthfully the way you react to that coping mechanism is what will determine whether it's a slow impending doom or an outlet.
Everyone has their share of pain, unfortunately some have more than others; and when a person doesn't have the tools, people,
or environment to get through they find unconventional and destructive means to do just that.
That's why you never talk about it, putting yourself in a box, knowing if you open it now you'd never have the proper chance to actually work through it,
you'd just wallow in something so deep you're unsure if there's even a bottom.
And you and i both understand someone who decides to just wallow in their own misery will only end up pulling themselves deeper, all while taking those closest with us.
The reality of this is by allowing others to fall in love with and see that pain through those glorified art forms is how you can say it all without actually saying anything at all.
You craft your hurt into something you and others can enjoy instead, it makes you feel all that damage was worth it.
And who am i to say what it is and isnt? Im just simply stating no matter what youve experienced you still end up having to find a purpose for yourself, not your damage.
But being in a situation where you simply cant back out, the only thing you can do is move forward, surviving through any means.
And if those means are by putting your pain on display, all for anyone and everyone to see and find beauty in, then do what you must.
There's actually a lot of irony to all this, ya know, because your romanticizing your pain right now too.
(a lil note: im not really much of a 'writer' but as you can tell i use a couple creative outlets to work through my stuff Lol i actually kinda like this and was hoping maybe it wasnt as bad
as i think it might be)