I miss you, do you know that? No, of course not. How would you? We haven't talked in months. I heard you have a girlfriend now... I hope she makes you happy, you deserve it.
I once hoped to be the one to make you happy. I can't shake the memories of us talking till late at night, I told you to go to bed.
You looked so tired, I was always worried that you bit off more than you could chew.
You looked so incredibly tired, I was afraid that you only stayed awake because you were worried about me or worse, pitied me.
I slept way less than you did but I pretended to go to bed just so you would get to bed too. You had way more friends than me and I knew why.
You were just you, people were drawn in by your everything. You were so easy approachable, you were so easy to talk to, you were just you and people appreciated you.
You didn't always have it easy, when we talked about your darker times, they made me curse myself out to pretend that my problems were even worth mentioning.
I was never subtle about my feelings for you, but you never really paid them much attention even though you clearly drew the line to not give me the wrong idea, which I appreciated.
It was for the best.
I still don't really know what I did wrong that made you stop talking to me but know that the consequences hurt me every day. I regret it, every day.
If you'd tell me what it was, I would have the chance to properly apologize. I had the chance to explain, I never intended what happened and I miss you. I really miss you, so much.
I'm not sure if I want you to know about that, probably not, you'd think I was weird and stupid to hold onto these feelings and memories after all these months.
I like to imagine that if you knew you'd text me first, that you would try to get back in contact.
You still wouldn't reciprocate my feelings, because I'm sure your girlfriend makes you happier than I ever could, but I had the chance to spent time with you.
I would still exist in your world and in your mind, all I could wish for would be ending up being a positive memory once we are older.
I still miss you, you know? And I wished you missed me too, even if it would just be a little...