The relationship debt
The relationship debt guilt stories
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lunadragon
lunadragon existential-screaming.tumblr.com
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
about mental illness and the feeling of guilt of the effect that it has on the people close to us.

The relationship debt

Love or hate, does it even matter?

When you know that once a person gets close everything will shatter

I get tired of my own behavior

So why would someone else be my savior

Its not a task meant to exist

Within the softness and support that love enlists

A balance to encourage and make strong

But there is a darkness that had already come along

A monster, a ghost is all that is left

No energy to repay the relationship debt

The love still tumbling inside hoping to thrive

But no hope left to even keep myself alive

I'm supposed to be happy, I'm supposed to be braver

But all I feel is the guilt towards those who lend me a favour

I was not worth it when I had a cleaner soul

So please don't expect me to regain control

I'm afraid that once there will be more causes of pain

That it might be cutting the last thread that maintains

Wondering how far deeper I can drown

Losing more and more air with every breakdown

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