𝕀 π”Έπ•ž ℕ𝕠 π•†π•Ÿπ•–'𝕀 ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕑𝕖𝕣π•₯π•ͺ


         𝕀  π”Έπ•ž  ℕ𝕠 π•†π•Ÿπ•–'𝕀  ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕑𝕖𝕣π•₯π•ͺ


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lourra
lourra 🌺 flying through
Autoplay OFF Β  β€’ Β  a year ago
This piece is a retelling of my pent-up thoughts that I long carried with me.

𝕀 π”Έπ•ž ℕ𝕠 π•†π•Ÿπ•–'𝕀 ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕑𝕖𝕣π•₯π•ͺ

A small child stood there,

A small child stood there, watching her dad and uncle conversed.

A small child stood there, watching her dad and uncle conversed. Her eyes,

A small child stood there, watching her dad and uncle conversed. Her eyes, sharp and curious.

A small child stood there, watching her dad and uncle conversed. Her eyes, sharp and curious. But what killed her was the words she heard the latter said.

"Three of your children are just give-aways."

"Three of your children are just give-aways." To which her father would admonish the older man.

A teenage girl sat in the dining chair,

A teenage girl sat in the dining chair, her anxiety stronger then.

A teenage girl sat in the dining chair, her anxiety stronger then. Her future currently being discussed as if she was not there.

A teenage girl sat in the dining chair, her anxiety stronger then. Her future currently being discussed as if she was not there. As if it was some kind of business plan to be dispensed for the next few years.

And what broke her trust once more was her oldest Aunt's opinion of Κœα΄‡Κ€.

And what broke her trust once more was her oldest Aunt's opinion of α΄›Κœα΄‡α΄.

And what broke her trust once more was her oldest Aunt's opinion of α΄›Κœα΄‡α΄. There was no compassion from the old woman.

And what broke her trust once more was her oldest Aunt's opinion of α΄›Κœα΄‡α΄. There was no compassion from the old woman. As if she was not in a same shoes years ago.

"Why send her to college or the three girls even? They'll get married anyway and just bear children of somebody probably with good-for-nothing surname."

The teenage girl never felt that humiliated her entire life.

The teenage girl never felt that humiliated her entire life. "She wants to be a doctor? I can bet you all the money they have, she won't be one, she's better off married after highschool."

The teenage girl never felt that humiliated her entire life. "She wants to be a doctor? I can bet you all the money they have, she won't be one, she's better off married after highschool." Swallowing the anger, the teenager vowed to make them eat their words.

Her love for them,

Her love for them, gone in a matter of minutes.

Ten years later.

Ten years later. There she was, slowly climbing up from the bottom.

Ten years later. There she was, slowly climbing up from the bottom. Their words long been eaten, to her evil

Ten years later. There she was, slowly climbing up from the bottom. Their words long been eaten, to her evil evil

Ten years later. There she was, slowly climbing up from the bottom. Their words long been eaten, to her evil evil satisfaction.

And yet despite the success,

And yet despite the success, she'd often hear that she'd soon marry

And yet despite the success, she'd often hear that she'd soon marry and be owned by the man she loved.

She still heard of those words to this day,

She still heard of those words to this day, opinions so backwater

She still heard of those words to this day, opinions so backwater it was never worthy of tears.

She still heard of those words to this day, opinions so backwater it was never worthy of tears. Yet she won't lie

She still heard of those words to this day, opinions so backwater it was never worthy of tears. Yet she won't lie those hurtful words

She still heard of those words to this day, opinions so backwater it was never worthy of tears. Yet she won't lie those hurtful words made her afraid

She still heard of those words to this day, opinions so backwater it was never worthy of tears. Yet she won't lie those hurtful words made her afraid of relationships and marriage.

There were days her ears would just rang with the words.

There were days her ears would just rang with the words. But those days were few and far apart now.

And instead of feeling just humiliated,

And instead of feeling just humiliated, she could now give them her best shit-eating grin.

Under her breath,

Under her breath, she chanted,

Under her breath, she chanted, I am me before anybody else.

Under her breath, she chanted, I am me before anybody else. I am me and thanks to me I am right where I am now.

Under her breath, she chanted, I am me before anybody else. I am me and thanks to me I am right where I am now. I am NOBODY'S property but me.

Under her breath, she chanted, I am me before anybody else. I am me and thanks to me I am right where I am now. I am NOBODY'S property but me. I belong to me, and wholly to me.

Under her breath, she chanted, I am me before anybody else. I am me and thanks to me I am right where I am now. I am NOBODY'S property but me. I belong to me, and wholly to me. I am not some breeding mare nor a give-away.

I am Lourra,

I am Lourra, a little crazy in the head,

I am Lourra, a little crazy in the head, and I am Me.

I am Lourra, a little crazy in the head, and I am Me. PERIODT.

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