SUITS — AVENGERS SING MUSICAL FROM "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER"
SUITS — AVENGERS SING MUSICAL FROM "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER" musical stories
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lothirielswan
lothirielswan Love, fortune and glory to you!
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
“Suits!” They sang.
“Wingmen I can wear!” Tony declared. I scrambled to a stop as Sam Wilson floated down before me, his metallic wings spread out behind his back. Sam wore a bow tie with his suit.
I sidestepped him. The singing continued, “Suits!”
“Oh they’re so debonair!”
“Suits!”
I yelped when Loki appeared before me, in a full-raven black suit. Tony put an arm around the towering God of Mischief, “The perfect way to snare a god with daddy issues!”

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SUITS — AVENGERS SING MUSICAL FROM "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER"

I frowned. I was standing in the middle of a street in New York City. Yellow taxi cabs were parked by the side of the road. The cars were empty. The sidewalks were abandoned. I looked up.

I was standing before Avengers Tower.

My throat closed up. I hadn't seen this building in years. So many fond memories here, memories that I was just getting back and reliving.

I was starting to hear music, faintly. It was coming closer.

The doors to Avengers Tower opened.

Pepper stormed out, her heels clicking as she walked down the street. Tony burst out of the doors next. And to my complete shock, he turned to me, and started to sing.

"I know what you're thinkin'—what's Tony been drinkin'? Pepper was smokin' hot," Tony pointed at Pepper, who was disappearing around a corner.

"Yes I coulda nailed her, but not it's not a failure cause there's one thing she is not,"

Tony stepped out onto the road with me, "To score a twelve would be just fine, but I'd rather be dressed to the nines! It's a truth you can't refute,"

Tony straightened his jacket and smirked. "Nothing suits me like a suit!"

Without warning, he grabbed my arm and we were racing down the street. I finally noticed a few people by the sidewalks and on the steps leading up to apartments.

I yelped when we stopped abruptly, and Tony motioned at the open air before me, "Picture a world where all the spiderboys and girls are impeccably well-dressed,"

I jumped when the nearby cars moved. Peter Parker, and his friends Ned and Michelle stood on top of them. Yes—they were wearing suits. Tony looked exceptionally proud of Peter.

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I was too terrified of what would happen next.

Tony turned, and I spun with him. He pointed at people walking down the street, "That delivery guy in a jacket and tie,"

When he pointed at an elderly Fedex worker, the old man's uniform transformed into a suit. My eyes widened. The old man shot finger guns at us, "Excelsior!"

Tony pointed at another, "That agent in a double breast!"

"FILE INCOMING!" My eyes widened as Phil Coulson dropped from one of the high windows and landed straight-up on the sidewalk.

Tony spun again in a random direction. I struggled to keep up with him. He gestured at some more poor victims walking, "That eighties dude with mutton chops,"

A suit appeared on Logan Howlett, the Wolverine. He lifted his middle metal claw up at Tony.

Tony gestured at two others, "Those doctors with no coughing drops!"

Stephen Strange and Bruce Banner were suddenly laced up in jackets and ties. Poor Bruce looked around for his missing lab coat, that he seemed to prefer over his new violet three-piece.

Tony jogged, dragging me with him as one of the apartment doors opened, "That hot young aunt who's kinda cute,"

Aunt May blushed and tucked her hair behind her ear, posing on the top step before she danced down the stairs.

The music still continued in the background—I had no idea where it was coming from. Everyone seemed to accept this new musical form of reality.

Tony pushed me away, and opened his arms, "Nothing suits me like a suit!"

The people in suits started to gather on the street. I backed away from Tony, but he only seemed to move towards me with new intensity.

I started running from the superheroes dressed in suits, who continued to chase me down the street.

"Suits!" They sang.

"Wingmen I can wear!" Tony declared. I scrambled to a stop as Sam Wilson floated down before me, his metallic wings spread out behind his back. Sam wore a bow tie with his suit.

I sidestepped him. The singing continued, "Suits!"

"Oh they're so debonair!"

"Suits!"

I yelped when Loki appeared before me, in a full-raven black suit. Tony put an arm around the towering God of Mischief, "The perfect way to snare a god with daddy issues!"

My jaw dropped. Whatever this was, Loki was in on it. That wasn't good. I broke between the two and thundered down the cement road.

"Suits!"

"In navy, blue, or black," Natasha, Clint, and Bucky jumped out from the nearby cars and blocked my path. They were also spectacularly dressed.

They smiled, but the hardened looks in their eyes terrified me.

"Check out this perfect rack," Tony rode on the back of a rolling rack of suits to me, "I want to give them a squeeze,"

"Oh, really?" A new voice asked behind me. I looked up just as Director Nick Fury stood by my side, next to the assassins on the road. Fury squinted at Tony doubtfully.

"Then answer these questions, if you please,"

Fury gestured grandly to the clear sidewalk nearby. Four people stood in a row. Tony tossed me an accusing look, then started down the row.

Rhodey came first, "What would you do if you had to choose between your suits and a pot of gold?"

"Suits." Tony scoffed and moved onto the next.

My breath caught at seeing Thor in a suit. I never heard him sing in his deep, foreign accent before, "What would you say if you gave your suits away and in return you'd never grow old?"

"Suits." Tony rolled his eyes like the answer was obvious.

Mariah Hill stood at attention next. Her face was stern and formal, as usual, "What would you pick? One million chicks, or a single-three-piece suit?"

"It's mote." Tony moved on to the last.

Steve Rogers held up a spinning globe, "What if world peace were within your reach—"

"Alalalalalah—I'm gonna stop you right there. It's suits. Come on, Steve. Get your head out of your ass." Tony barked. He looked almost normal for a minute.

His weird-like trance continued seconds later as the four on the sidewalk formed a line and they tread backwards, "Two! Three! Four!"

All of the superheroes fanned out on the sidewalk before me.

I had finally bested amnesia and remembered all of their names —Wanda Maximoff in her flashy crimson suit, T'Challa in a sleek, black tie. Scott Lang wore a glittery bow tie.

Wade Wilson's suit spelled "juicy" on the back of his ass. "Suits" was starting to hint at something more, just on the tip of my tongue—

"Girls will come and girls will go, but there's only one absolute," They sang as one, advancing on me with their hard, piercing stares,

"Every Science Bro on the go needs to know there's no accepted substitute,"

Tony stepped forward, separating himself from the crowd. He ran a hand down the front of his torso, smoothing down his perfectly pressed jacket, "I'm sorry, suits, let's make amends.

My Sunday Best are my best friends!"

All of them reached up towards the sky, "Send Casual Friday down the laundry chute,"

Vision suddenly appeared in the sky, wearing a suit. With the brilliant shining gem on his head, he hovered like a well-dressed angel. He crossed his arms and glared, "My cardigans are better."

Vision dropped down and joined the group. The Avengers started to form a long kick-line, and advanced forward on me.

I tripped backwards to avoid the jutting out of limbs, " 'Cause nothing suits the undisputed, oft-saluted, suitor of repute,"

I rammed into something hard from behind. It was cold against my skin.

"Like...a..."

I looked up and my eyes widened.

"SUIT!"

Tony's red and gold suit glinted in the sun. Everything seemed to click in that moment, rushing back to me.

I had finally found the key to the locked box of memories, and all of the little details came flooding back at an overwhelming pace.

Then the suit of armor punched me in the face.

I fell back into darkness.

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