The day you left
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lostangelA girl who thought she was loved
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago

The day you left

by lostangel

The day you left was the worst. Out of all the people I loved , you were the first . I remember it like it was yesterday, you said we should go our separate ways

The day you left I couldn't stop crying, the world looked more terrifying. It looked scary and dark, on my heart, you left a mark.

The day you left is hard to forget and every word I said I regret. You said it was just you and me but I guess it was never meant to be

The day you left was 5 months ago, I think about you more than you know. I'm with someone new and all I can think about is you.

The day you left was a year ago now, you got over it so quick. How? Were you ever even mine? Or was I just another girl in line.

The day you left was a hard time for us, but you left without a fuss. I think I'm finally over it, but in the back of my mind it will sit

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bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
a year agoReply
I loved the theme. It was cute and innocent. I agree with @satanpriya about the meter and flow. You are writing like you are speaking conversationally to a peer. Read some T.S. Eliot. Emily Dickinson, or Alan Ginsburg. They will help you. Good poem.

satanpriyasweet charmcaster
a year agoReply
One suggestion: Please split your one line into two that will appear and be read more rhythmically.