He was hardly ever home
Every evening until the wee hours in the morning, he would be gone. When he would come back, he wouldn’t be in good shape.
Honestly, you didn’t even know how his body hasn’t given up
because of how he treats it
He only sleeps a few hours, hardly eats, drinks heavily
and other things you don’t like to imagine a significant other doing.
Sometimes, he would come home with swollen lips,
bloody knuckles and out of this world; just completely fucked up
It was never like this before, with him
He was so loving and always made time for you. You don’t know what had gotten into him. You and him would usually have at home dates because of the tight schedules
and both of you were ok with being home as long as you had each other.
Occasionally, the two of you would go out to the mall
to walk around and find photo booths to take funny pictures and buy ice-cream or go on night dates
You both liked to walk during the night time together
it was quiet and peaceful and it felt like you were the only ones living on this unforgivable world or cruising in the car, listening to your favorite songs.
It was about 3 in the morning and you couldn't sleep
The side of the bed next to you was cold and empty without him by your side. You decided to get up and have a smoke on the balcony of your apartment.
You never really liked smoking before up until recently.
The way the nicotine burned in your throat and lungs completed you and ironically, it made you feel more alive than ever.
You leaned on the railing as you took a drag
while looking at the view of the city. The smoke danced in the cold early morning air as it exited you mouth.
You were outside for a while
and almost completely burned through the whole cigarette. The air was getting colder and you can see the sun slowly rising .
so you decided to put out the cancer stick and go back inside.
As you were making your way inside,
the main door opened and a wobbly figure enters the apartment. His eyes were looking at the floor, making sure he didn’t trip on the plant by the door and sniffed the left over blow he had
Looking up, he noticed you closing the clear door
that leads to the balcony. He looked at you with guilty eyes, trying to tell you to leave, then made his way to the closest trash can. Whatever he consumed did not make him feel well.
Once you reached the bed
you could hear him violently vomiting. He laid on the floor for a while to help calm down his heart rate and collect himself before going to bed.
You heard him walk into the bedroom and shifted yourself
now facing the opposite of him. He didn’t even bother to shower or change his clothes. You could still smell the sweat, vomit and a sent from another on him.
He laid beside you, not touching you
however, you could feel his eyes all over you. He wanted you to leave him and wondered why you stayed. He didn’t want to touch you because he believed that you no longer loved him.
He knew he was no good for you
He thought that you would give up on him like everyone else in his life did. He was sure that you would crack just like the others but he was wrong.
You could never do something like that
to the person you loved
You switched positions, now laying on your back
His eyes were no longer on you. He was tired and slowly drifting off. You turn to face him, kiss his lips and ignore their putrid taste.
You laid your head on his chest and he closed his eyes
Your touch calmed him and made him feel safe as your fingers intertwined with his.
He wants you to run away
yet he needs you to stay