To dance with Death [pt2]
To dance with Death [pt2] love stories
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lisahelleman
lisahelleman Just the exact opposite of heavenly.
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
Love cannot be built in a one-way-street. If you do believe that, it is not going to end well.

To dance with Death [pt2]

...

When I first met him, I felt like I had all the power. I always have all the power. I thought I was the one pulling all the strings.

For the past years since I was 18 I was the one stepping on hearts, like they were insects. But for the last six months I was the weak one for a change.

I knew it had to change someday but I never thought he was the one to change it. He's slipping away and I feel it. It makes me anxious. It makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel lonely.

But I still want to be with him. He's already the one that got away, even though he's still here...

Fuck, get it together! What is going on in that head of mine? I don't even want him that bad, I know he is a bad influence. I even know this will never work...

He told me about a thousand times, and I can totally understand why. I am 24 and he is like, a million years old. He has the weight of the whole world lying on his shoulders.

If he loses, he loses all... There is no arguing with that. But why do I still feel like I can be the one that saves him? Has it been too soon? Am I not enough? Is there still someone else...

Past or present? I am not dancing like no-one is watching, I am constantly dancing like he is right next to me...

I look at myself in the mirror. I am wearing a dress I do not even like. I have got perfectly manicured fingernails. I am clean, there is no blood anywhere. I have not killed for days...

There is a glass of wine in my one hand and a cigarette in the other. Damn. Talking about responsibilities. It is a bit over 2 AM. What do I have to lose?

"Damn, fucking nothing..." I whisper to myself. And so I call him yet again.

...

His blade pressed against my throat. I can barely breathe. "Go ahead, kill me. Add yet another ghost to haunt you."

"I'm not scared of the dead, love. It's the living that scare me, for I am a ghost myself." His grip tightened, and so I felt the blade cut through my skin.

My chest warmed up, but my head felt light. I fell, I couldn't breathe. He actually did it. The last thing I saw was his faced. He kissed me. He fucking kissed me.

I was dying. I knew this would be the outcome of it all. He had everything to lose. I had nothing, but him. I loved him. He made me feel like I existed. Like I mattered.

He made me feel smart, pretty and significant. He made a difference in this world. I made him different. He knows that now. Even though the wall is not coming down. It never will.

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